4 WAYS TO TEACH KIDS GOOD MANNERS

Showing Correct Social Skills, such as Consideration, tact, Respect or Courtesy.

Dear Parents,

Most of you taught your children to say please and thank you by the time they were three. Although, they still need to be reminded occasionally, most of them have it down fairly well. As children get older, parents, teachers and other adults begin to introduce other manners that will help them as they move forward in society.

Many people only think of the physical side when they think of martial arts, but as you know, we are so much more. Hopefully, we are reinforcing the manners you have worked so diligently to teach your children.

What can parents and caregivers do to help their children develop good manners?

Praise good manners. When your child uses good manners, without prompting, tell him or her how pleased you are. Explain how it is important for you to use good manners at work and when you are in different social settings so that everyone gets along.

Enjoy being with your child. The next time you are away from home with your child where another child is throwing a temper tantrum, tell your child you like being with him or her. Ask if your child would like to be around the upset child. Explain that as you get older, having good manners is important so others will want to be with you at work and when you have fun.

Say what you mean. If you say, “Yes,” to something, but your body language means no, then say, “No,” to your child so he or she won’t be confused. Even if they understand some body language now, they won’t be able to later come back and say, “Well, you said, ‘Yes.’”

Reflect on people you both know. When you are commenting about someone they know, ask them what they like about the person. Usually there are comments about how nice they are. Explain that is why manners and being polite are important; that is what people really remember about you.

For more information about teaching kids good manners visit  www.lloydgardnerkarate.com

Your Friend,

Lloyd Gardner

Be Dependable-When Others Can Count on You, You are A Dependable Person

Dear Parents,

Being dependable is the theme for this month. Children may have problems being dependable, but they count on the adults around them to be dependable. They depend on you to be on time, feed them, take care of them when they are sick and, especially, get them to their martial arts classes each week.

 “How can we help a child change from undependable to dependable, from someone who won’t amount to very much to someone who will count for something? The answer is at once both simple and complicated: We treat a child as if he already is what we would like him to become.” Haim Ginott, Child Psychologist

 What can parents and caregivers do to help their
children develop self-discipline?

 Be on time. We all do everything we can to be on time for work, but we don’t always use that same consideration when it comes to our children or our own extra-curricular activities. Keep track of time and do your best to be on time for meetings and activities, even if it means leaving a little earlier.

 Keep your word. Do your children believe you when you tell them you will do something? If you say you will play a board game with them when you finish your phone call, do it, even if you would rather do something else.
Children don’t want to wonder if their parents mean
what they say.

 Meet your deadlines. You said you would bake four-dozen cupcakes for the bake sale tomorrow, but you didn’t remember them until bedtime. Although, you are tired, you set an excellent example of doing what you say you will by staying up an hour and baking them.

Follow through. It’s easy to get distracted when you have kids, but you need to be able to follow through on what you say you will do, even when it makes you look like the mean one. If you say your children can’t go outside to play because they didn’t clean their rooms, then you can’t back out of it. They can’t go outside to play. However, if you say they can have dessert after they eat their dinner, have something great for them.

Activate Your “Safety Shield”

Let me tell you a little bit about “bad guys”. You probably already know that people who prey on others are cowards.
But you might not know that they are smart, too, in a certain way. You see, they are experts at detecting fear.

Go look at an elementary school playground. There are “bad guys” there, too. They call them bullies.

You will observe that some kids get picked on. Some don’t.

Do bullies just randomly pick out people for abuse? No. They have a very effective system for choosing their victims.

All me to let you in on a secret. Bullies, of all ages, are not looking for a fight. In fact, quite the opposite (remember they are cowards!). They are looking for a passive target.

And here’s how they find one. They read body language cues, posture, eye contact, and voice tonality.

And then when they find a person with soft body language; who shies away form direct eye contact; who has a timid, soft voice…they know they have found their next victim.

So here is what you do.

Practice standing, walking, and sitting in a more confident manner. Head and shoulders held high. Breathing deeply. Relaxed, alert. Turn to squarely face people when you speak to them.

Train yourself to make brief but direct eye contact with the people you meet on the street. Sometimes women are uncomfortable with this kind of eye contact, but it’s a huge part of you “Safety Shield”.

When you speak, use deep breathing, and speak from deep within your chest (not from high in your throat). Slow down your words a little. Keep air in your lungs.

The great thing about these “Safety Shield” skills is that you can practice them all the time. Alone in your car. As you walk down the sidewalk.

You will enjoy the confident, capable state they put you in. You will feel safe and empowered!

Your friend,

Lloyd Gardner

Winning-Is It In You?

Winning-Is it in you?
For those of you who I talk to often, you might remember me telling you about the book “Winning” by Jack Welch. In this book, I have adopted several tips and I recommend it to you as well. The point I’m trying to make is that winning is all about who you surround yourself with. And this is an important lesson for everyone. When I look back at when I struggled in my life, or went through rough periods of time, I noticed that it was the people that were in my inner circle that helped me to come out victorious.
1. Winning is in your DNA-Most of us have it but need someone to help us pull it out.
2. Winners are never satisfied
3. Winners only want to be #1—anything less is not enough
4. Winners care about personal growth just as much a financial growth
5. Winners have a certain look—-Clean, dress well, and like to dance (still working on the last one)
6. Winners don’t make excuses
7. Winners spend more time thinking how it can be better in the future than talking about how good a job was.
8. Winners don’t dwell in the past-they are always looking forward and never behind them.
“Don’t let good enough, be good enough!”-Bill Parcells…

WEEKLY CONTEST – “Win 2 Free Weeks of Kickboxing Aerobics” (Comment to enter, winners will be announced Friday)

MARTIAL ARTS PRINCIPLE OF THE WEEK- “Modesty.” To have a humble opinion of oneself.

CONTEST – “Win a FREE MONTH of KARATE for YOUR CHILD” (leave a comment to enter, includes free uniform)

Poll- “What is your Ideal Workout Time? 5:00am, 6:00am, 7:00pm, 8:00pm?”

Congratulations to Chris Franklin-winner of One Month of Free Kickboxing Aerobics; and Congratulations to Tanya Rae-winner of One FREE month of Kickboxing Aerobics for 5 of her friends! Check back with us next week for our next weekly contest!

WEEKLY CONTEST – “Win a FREE MONTH of Kickboxing Aerobics for 5 friends.” To enter leave a comment. Winners will be annouced Fri. 12/25/09.